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It was about seven years ago that I became unexpectedly single due to a seemingly promising relationship gone horribly wrong. He and I had looked at rings. We had talked about the future. And in one night, it was crushed. He broke my heart. I remember praying for months, with tears falling down my cheeks, as I tried to figure out what God’s plan was for me. I wanted to be married. I wanted a family. But I was terrified of having to start all over again.
I would like to share with you the same words that I offer those dear friends. I wish I knew God’s plan for you. I wish that I could tell you that it will happen soon. That your fairytale ending is right around the corner. I don’t know what God has in store, but I do want to say that an honorable and respectable man is worth your wait.
Patience can be hard and discouraging, can’t it? It’s irritating to hear the words “just be patient” over and over again, especially when you’re lonely. I am just here to gently remind you that you’re not alone. And there is so much hope and joy waiting for you – even today.
In the midst of my own heartache, I quickly learned that I needed to make the best of this time that I had. It was a time to make positive changes to my life in order to prepare my heart for my future husband, so that I would be the kind of person I wished to marry.
Run after God’s mission and then turn to see who is running next to you.
I have a friend who told me that she has been single for longer than she would like. She said that she (knowingly) has the impulsive tendency to fantasize about a new life as a girlfriend or wife, even before the check is paid on a first date. She becomes extremely excited about the future and the potential that her date has. And yet – when it doesn’t work out – she is broken. After a few dates together, she has already created him to be the man who will eventually sweep her off of her feet, before she even truly knows who he is. Disappointment sets in and the fact that it didn’t work out leaves her feeling hopeless.
I think we’re all more guilty of this than we’d like to admit. You may begin to blame yourself when relationships don’t work out. You’re disappointed and broken because you so badly wanted him to be good for you, and yet you never really took the time to consider that he actually wasn’t.
Sometimes we live like chameleons, don’t we? Adjusting our “skin” to suit a guy who was never suited for us in the first place. Beautiful girl – I want to admonish you to remain true to who you are no matter how difficult it may be. Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done, but you don’t want to lose yourself in the process.
If God intends for you to marry, the man that He has for you is going to blow your mind.
The man who makes you laugh hysterically, even at yourself.
The man who pursues you and romances you as his beautiful bride, even 50 years later.
The man who strives to always place your needs above his own.
The man who makes you feel safer than you’ve ever been, emotionally and physically.
The man who loves you as Jesus loves His church.
The man who causes your knees to buckle and brings you to tears with a few heartfelt words.
He is worth the wait.
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Lovely post, thanks for sharing.
Your beautiful in all u share. I will be 70 next yr. I have been single 30 yrs.lived my life to raise my beautiful son and daughter. Now, im very lonely most of the time now that my little Abby dog passed. My children live as though i m miles away. Yet im only 1/2 a mile away. I really don't know where i favor with the lord , i just know i wait on him and have always believed he has all the answers .
Hi Jeannetta. I am praying for you. I lost my grandma last year and I fear that she felt much like you just expressed back in November. I would give anything to go back in time. I would love to hear more of your story if you feel up to it. Feel free to email me if you’d like to talk. My name is Michele, and I am 32. I am raising my niece who is 13. My email is mthomps0911@gmail.com.
Great read, and so very true. I had one failed marriage when I met my "Mr. Right." We ended up getting pregnant, had a daughter and separated when she was 4 months old. I loved the man dearly, he just wasn't ready to be what I needed. I ended marrying someone else ... a huge mistake. It lasted a year and it was over. There I was, divorced again. My Mr. Right had grown a lot in the time we'd spent apart and so we began again. We lived together for two years before getting pregnant with our second daughter. I had told him long ago not to ask me to marry him, because I'd say no. I wasn't going to go there again. But, he did, when I was seven months pregnant. And I said yes. Because I LOVED him. We got married a month later, on the beach where we shared our first kiss 8 years earlier. A month after that, we were blessed with out second daughter. They are now 7 and 21 months old and the light of our lives. I love doing life with my husband. I never knew I could feel so deeply for someone as I do him. I thank God every night he had the courage to ask me to be his wife. I am truly lucky to have him.
Thank you so much for reading, Jen. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that but I am so grateful that your relationship was restored and that you have two beautiful babies to share this life with you both! Hugs to you!
Lindsey - thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this post! I am so thankful that I stumbled upon it, because I think it is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Being in my late 20s, I feel like I am behind because I am not really dating, but you are absolutely right - everything will happen in God's time and I need to wait to see what he has planned for me.
Thank you!
Emily
I love this so much, thank you for writing it! Been struggling with loneliness a lot lately (was almost in tears over it on the car ride to work this morning actually), and this brought me so much hope and encouragement. Thanks for reminding me that because of Jesus, there's always hope and always something to look forward to! You have a beautiful heart!
Hi Kassidy! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I'm so sorry to hear that this has been a struggle for you - I know that sometimes it can be one of the most lonely feelings in the world. But Jesus definitely gives SO much hope and I pray that He continues to fill your heart with joy in the midst of this season! You are so sweet! I hope this year is wonderful for you. <3
Awww! I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. But you are right, he is definitely worth the wait! Just hang in there, and he'll come in the least unexpected time!
Belle | One Awesome Momma
Yes. YES. YES!! God's timing is always perfect! And he spoke to me directly through your words today with this beautifully written article. God sent you as my angel today. I love you!
You are so sweet, Bonnie! Love you!
Lindsay - what a sweet and true post. I'm also married now but didn't until I was 30 so really struggled with this for years. I definitely could have used this advice through those years!
I definitely wish I would have known this as well! I'm so sorry that you struggled but I'm so grateful that you found your prince charming! :)
My first "Mr. Right" turned out to be somebody completely different 10 years later. I kinda knew it would happen, but I was in a rush to get on with my happily ever after. That's what happens when you're not patient and choose the wrong person, lol! When you're in between relationships, or in that awful "waiting and being patient" period, work on being the girl of your own dreams! It will be worth it!
Yes! I totally struggled with trying to 'force fit' people into my life, even when I knew it wasn't for the best!! Thanks so much for sharing that!
Wow what a beautiful post. My best friend just told me she was pregnant and I definitely felt a twinge of envy. I love how you say he is worth the wait because that is exactly what God told me about my husbanday. Thank you for sharing!
Awe - thank you so much for sharing that, Emily. I know how difficult that can be. Are you trying to get pregnant? I would love to hear more about your story. <3
I LOVE this post. I love how you can tell where you heart is in this post. It's amazing.
Thank you so much, Kristen!