I love Salt & Vinegar chips, page-turner novels and binge-watching Netflix with my husband. :) I host The Living Easy Podcast, where I talk about the things that most people don't discuss - with a focus on faith and relationships! Follow along on IG and Pinterest for mom-hacks, recipes & life tips!
10 Ways A Wife Disrespects Her Husband (Without Even Realizing It)
by Lindsey
Listen to the conversation I had with my husband about this specific blog post on my Living Easy Podcast. He shares his perspective and also shares the importance of men ‘manning up’ and honoring their wives:
I have mentioned before that just as a woman desires to feel loved, men equally desire to feel respected.
Respect, in all forms, speaks volumes to men and often results in them feeling worthy of their wife’s affections.
Do you ever use your moods to control your husband’s response? For example: Have you ever responded curtly with, “Nope. It’s fine. I don’t care” – when it actually isn’t fine and you do care? Guilt trips, using the words “always” and “never”, aggression or passive aggression, the silent treatment, doling out ultimatums, crying for pity or exaggerating disappointment are many of the ways that women emotionally manipulate their spouses.
Friends, I want to encourage you to use your words. Be honest in the disappointment or sadness that you feel – nobody is telling you to suppress your emotions – but there is a boundary in knowing what you are saying to help your marriage versus what you are saying to control your marriage.
2. Mothering
Okay guys, I can be such a mom – in every sense of the word. But gosh, it’s damaging, and especially to my marriage. We have gotten to a place where I have recognized that this is a struggle for me and am actively choosing my words & actions more wisely, but that hasn’t always been the case. And I believe in many marriages, the wife acts like her husband’s mother, but because she thinks that it’s what’s ‘best’, she avoids the issue and drains her husband of all independence and joy.
If you are regularly telling your husband what’s best for him or making your own convictions his convictions, it’s likely that you’re playing the role of ‘mom’ rather than the role of ‘wife’. This tends to make a man feel smaller and smaller in his role as your protector.
3. Aggression
Using aggression as a means of fighting or getting our way won’t ever allow our husbands to win. If he responds with meekness or silence, we make him out to be a coward. If he responds with anger, we make him out to be a bully. If you need space after an argument because aggression tends to be your go-to, then take time away before you come back together. ‘My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-1:20).
4. Smothering
Jesse and I have an‘open phone’ policyand over-compensate when it comes to asking hard questions and telling hard truths. However, there comes a point when ‘openness’ becomes ‘obsession’ and ‘asking’ becomes ‘smothering’. I have always said that if either party in the marriage truly wants to go out and have an affair, there’s no amount of snooping that anyone can do to stop it.
But even more importantly, you should fight for your marriage. If you struggle with trust issues, don’t smother your husband with prying questions to make him feel as if he’s done something wrong, only because you assume he has. First – pray for his heart and entrust him to God. Secondly, step out and speak to a couple or counselor who would be willing to hold both of you accountable and to help you walk through the trust issues that you face.
I definitely needed to read this! I have been married for 2 years and marriage definitely is work! Thank you for these powerful words and I love how Jesus is intertwined in them! 🙂
Love this always need a reminder. It’s hard to take the mom hat off then put on the wife hat on. I often mother my husband, I nag him. He’s a big boy, when he says he’s going to do something I need to trust that he knows what is best for our family. I am not his mother. It’s a great reminder. Thank you girl for your beautiful and encouraging words!
This is such good advice! Mothering is one I hadn’t thought of but it is totally emasculating. After being married for 2 years we are still working out some kinks, but this was such a good reminder for me. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you. This has helped me a lot. I read this to my husband and we shared and talked about our marriage. Is there 10 ways a husband disrespects his wife for us to share together? Love
Thank you. This has helped me a lot. I read this to my husband and we shared and talked about our marriage. Is there 10 ways a husband disrespects his wife for us to share together? Love
Thanks, Lindsey, for this. My wife and I are Biblical Counselors at our church and we’ll likely pass this on in counseling. It’s no wonder your blog says such good things about your husband…he has such a godly, loving wife. May the Lord continue blessing you and your family, for His glory. – Steve, for Judy, too
I fail at these things often! I aspire to be a loving wife but can only do so with Christ’s strength. My husband’s love and kindness lead me to repentance and inspire me to be better!
[…] When you and your spouse are at one another’s throats because you have to put on a false smile for your in-laws who you swear have it out for you, you are sacrificing the health of the one you were intended to cling to for the family that you were intended to separate from after you said, ‘I do.’ […]
Great and really informative post which i think every wife should read. Yes it is true that not every person is perfect but on the same time every person must show a little a bit of respect to his/her spouse.
Wow such powerful words, I wish my wife would read this. I have been struggling for years with my wife asking the she would please stop disrespsecting me but she continues to do so. you see i’ve been sick for a while. And she treats me like a dog. I have had 2 kidney transplants, Trigeminal Neuralgia, and MS. She madder now then ever before. She says she’s a Christian, But I get the brunt of being constantly put down. I ask for prayer because I know that is what works. This has helped me a lot and thank you. I just happen to be study and ran across this.
Thank you
Alan
This hit the nail on the head. Powerful truths, written in love. Thank you!
i reallly enjoyd reading this thank you so much for those tips! God bless.*
I definitely needed to read this! I have been married for 2 years and marriage definitely is work! Thank you for these powerful words and I love how Jesus is intertwined in them! 🙂
Lauren
http://www.basicbabelauren.com
Love this always need a reminder. It’s hard to take the mom hat off then put on the wife hat on. I often mother my husband, I nag him. He’s a big boy, when he says he’s going to do something I need to trust that he knows what is best for our family. I am not his mother. It’s a great reminder. Thank you girl for your beautiful and encouraging words!
Great reminder.
Thank you,
Mom
This is such good advice! Mothering is one I hadn’t thought of but it is totally emasculating. After being married for 2 years we are still working out some kinks, but this was such a good reminder for me. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Wonderfully written and good reminders for any married couple. Thank you.
Thank you. This has helped me a lot. I read this to my husband and we shared and talked about our marriage. Is there 10 ways a husband disrespects his wife for us to share together? Love
Thank you. This has helped me a lot. I read this to my husband and we shared and talked about our marriage. Is there 10 ways a husband disrespects his wife for us to share together? Love
After reading today’s blog we (My husband & I) hear a woman of such wisdom and grace. You are truly special……
Thank you for taking the time to compile this, it makes so much sense and will be useful
You’re so welcome, Ruth! Thank you for reading!
Thank you girl, God will increase your wisdom and understanding to write more in Jesus mighty name. Love it
Thanks, Lindsey, for this. My wife and I are Biblical Counselors at our church and we’ll likely pass this on in counseling. It’s no wonder your blog says such good things about your husband…he has such a godly, loving wife. May the Lord continue blessing you and your family, for His glory. – Steve, for Judy, too
Thank you very much. This is written with so much love and I appreciate the truths behind these very helpful tool. Albertine
That was a real queen realizing her power through teaching other women the power of respect…congrats to your husband
Excellent post. Your husband is very lucky to have you. Wish my wife would read this article.
Hi there,
I fail at these things often! I aspire to be a loving wife but can only do so with Christ’s strength. My husband’s love and kindness lead me to repentance and inspire me to be better!
Yes this is a powerful truth and a great message to married teams
[…] When you and your spouse are at one another’s throats because you have to put on a false smile for your in-laws who you swear have it out for you, you are sacrificing the health of the one you were intended to cling to for the family that you were intended to separate from after you said, ‘I do.’ […]
I need to share with my wife
Great and really informative post which i think every wife should read. Yes it is true that not every person is perfect but on the same time every person must show a little a bit of respect to his/her spouse.
Wow such powerful words, I wish my wife would read this. I have been struggling for years with my wife asking the she would please stop disrespsecting me but she continues to do so. you see i’ve been sick for a while. And she treats me like a dog. I have had 2 kidney transplants, Trigeminal Neuralgia, and MS. She madder now then ever before. She says she’s a Christian, But I get the brunt of being constantly put down. I ask for prayer because I know that is what works. This has helped me a lot and thank you. I just happen to be study and ran across this.
Thank you
Alan
Amazing content. The love and respect you give will always come back to you. Thanks for writing this and putting it into the world for all to see.
very nice happy motivational quotes-motivation456