The strongest women I know are those who empower and encourage others in their endeavors. I so admire the many women in my life who are truly effortless in lifting other people up and never hesitate to praise the good that they see in them.

In our society, isn’t it it completely normal to compare ourselves to other people? When we have a goal to achieve something in our lives, such as pursuing a business or trying to do well as a mom or a wife, it can be difficult to watch other people achieve more at a faster pace or to “do life” better than us.

I can’t count how many women I’ve talked to who battle with the fact that they aren’t engaged when so many of their friends already are. Women who talk about their careers, families or even social media followings not flourishing or growing as quickly as other people in their spheres. Others who struggle with not having the financial means to keep up with the Jones’s. It can be really difficult to feel left behind.

Women envy friendship relationship community competition

When we are envious, we feel inferior because we falsely believe that the other person’s possessions or achievements overshadow ours. It’s never a bad thing to want to do well and to live life to the fullest. But if we get so caught up in ourselves and desiring recognition that our own goals and pursuits are placed at the very top of our list above the more important things in life (God and people), it can become shallow and empty very quickly. 

Envy is often based around fear. Fear that we aren’t getting what’s ours. Fear that we’re being left behind in the grand scheme of life. Fear that our work isn’t as important as theirs. But we must put away the ‘measuring stick’ that we use to compare, entrust our lives to God and take action in order to work through our fears.

For me – with this blog, as a wife and as a mom – I always intend to invest my whole heart and mind into everything I do: to dream big, work hard and pour my heart into every gift that I’ve been given. I think we should live like that. But we have to be careful not to make it all about us; at that point, our pursuits and selfish desires can often leave us endlessly striving for more.

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I want to remind you that the things we may least expect are what often bring the most joy. Even when it feels like everyone else is so far ahead of us, we have to remember these important truths: Community brings joy. Love brings joy. Selflessness brings joy. Serving others brings joy. Thinking of ourselves less brings joy. Celebrating other’s accomplishments brings joy.

And the more we do these things, the more we bless others and the more we are blessed ourselves. When we choose to rejoice in other’s accomplishments and celebrate who they are, we get to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves and forget the need to compare.

When was the last time you went out of your way to celebrate or praise your best friend’s accomplishments, just because? When was the last time you gave someone a call just to tell them how proud you are of all that they have going on in your lives? It’s never too late to begin living life this way!

Women envy friendship relationship community competition

It’s so important, even when we’re established and successful, to remember that it’s people who have ultimately helped us get to where we are. We need to remember to be that person for other people; the person who goes out of their way to support and cheer on others around us in their own gifts and callings. This type of community is invaluable and it truly does break the barriers of competition.

Without love and relationships, what is this all for, anyway?

Every single person reading this post has a gift and every single person can be used by a God whose plans and thoughts are far greater than you could ever dream. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in what you see other people doing and lose sight of all that you have. 

Women envy friendship relationship community competition

I want to share an important moment with you all! I recently hosted an event sponsored by a company called Bumble BFF and it was truly one of the most inspiring and encouraging nights of my life.

Over thirty women from my city came together at a cute cafe to share life together. Many of them owned their own businesses, many were wives and moms, others came just to meet new friends and some were in the beginning or planning stages of their new business. I asked them to do a modified version of ‘Friend Speed Dating’ which gave them the opportunity to discuss their own goals, hobbies, businesses and experiences while we all had drinks, laughed together and ate delicious food.

They created new friendships and discovered multiple businesses and women that they could help to promote. They truly forgot themselves and soaked in the gifts of the other people around them – and they were all blessed because of it.

Cinnamon Cafe Albuquerque

Towns Hair Shop

Women envy friendship relationship community competition

I was able to meet a few girls through the Bumble BFF app who ultimately attended the event. Initially, I was a little bit wary of using the app because it was seemingly a “dating app” for friendships, but I was honestly so pleasantly surprised! The app gave me the option to scroll through girls and read about their likes/dislikes, hobbies, what they were looking for in a friend, etc. and matched us together if we both “chose” one another. There are so many people, just like us, in every city who are seeking out community. I am still in touch with the girls that I met through Bumble BFF and I am genuinely thankful for their friendship!

Sweet friends, pursue friendship and pursue your dreams. Celebrate others, even when they “surpass” you in any and every sense of the word. Know that God’s plan for you is unique and remember that if you are too busy looking over your shoulder at the success of others, you are missing out on what God has in store for you. Your pursuits will always go hand-in-hand with love and relationships and both will be a blessing to you – even in the midst of trials. Please just always remember that if you’re trying, you’re already doing a wonderful job.

To all of the girls out there – I love you and support you, even if I don’t know you! I am, and always will be, cheering you on.

Check out Bumble’s blog at and download the Bumble BFF app at:

With Grace,