The most important piece of dating advice that I can give as a biblical marriage coach is this.
Know that the person you are dating is also the same person you are marrying.
You must date this person without the expectation that anything will change.
You can’t date someone thinking or hoping you can fix that person or the things they struggle with.
If they struggle deeply with lust or addiction, if they are not in tune with your needs, or if they don’t take care of their space, these things will not change.
While I believe strongly in the power of the Holy Spirit to change the heart, this doesn’t always happen immediately.
If you’re proud of the person you are dating, and you want that exact specimen, that exact person to help you raise your children, then marry them.
If there are trusted people in your life, let them speak to that relationship.
Listen to the things that they see and the concerns that they have. Seek their input because things can appear much clearer to those who are not emotionally invested.
It’s better to be happily married at age 35 than miserable and married at age 25.
Don’t rush into marriage just because your friends are getting engaged. Don’t settle for less than God has for you.
One of the main causes of divorce in 2021 was a difference in belief systems. Are you equally yoked, or are you dating with the hopes that *one day* they will come to know God?
Are you allowing the wisdom from godly people to pour into your relationship? Are you asking hard questions?
Marriage is a covenant that God has created to last the entirety of your life – but even the little things can begin to taint your marriage, especially without Jesus at the center. Everything is magnified in marriage – both the good and the hard!
If you are single or engaged, NOW is the time to pay attention to who this person truly is, what they believe about money, sex, romance, dating, friendship, cleanliness, and so on.
I created a course for those who want a happier and Christ-focused marriage: The Wife Project Biblical Study – From Roommates to Soulmates. I have had numerous singles take this to prepare their heart for marriage.
When you examine your heart and become more like Jesus in every area of life, that flows deeply and widely into your relationship with your partner. As we study the Proverbs 31 Woman, we are able to break down the lies that this world tries to have us believe so we can become the woman God called us to be.
I’m going to say it again. Don’t settle for less than God has for you.
Practicing patience is a test, and it builds endurance.
Spend the time before marriage strengthening your spirit, and when your time has come with the right person, you will be in a place to have a healthy and holy marriage.
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